i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think weed is turning my hair brown
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
