i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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