i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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