Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
