i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize