I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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