She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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