I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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