That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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