But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
