Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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