I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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