I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
As shirtless as possible
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
