I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm at about main and main street
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
