just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
