So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
