I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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