people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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