when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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