I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
