yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
