Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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