Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
