Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
