how can u be prego again
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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