At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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