i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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