He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
