I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
