I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
