Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
