She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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