Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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