I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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