Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
