this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
