apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize