i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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