I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
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