Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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