dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
