there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
How external is "for external use only"?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
