You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
