the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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