I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize