just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm way too hungover for life right now
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
