Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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