I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
