i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
