Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
