we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
