Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
