Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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