I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
smell my finger.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
