You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
