There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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