This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
