the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the day after is always just damage control
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
