Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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