meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
