You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
