I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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