I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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