Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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