glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
