just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
