You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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