I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
